The assumptions that are associated with the latter statements are the ones that frustrate me the most – the assumption that I choose to make my boy girl twins share a room. The implication is that I couldjust shell out the money for more space. You know…so the kids can be more comfortable. Something like, “I hadn’t thought of that! I’m going to start building another wing onto my house today!” feels like the right response.
“Can’t the girls share a room?” Ah yes…did I mention I have an older daughter? One verging on puberty, who has always had her own room…and just doesn’t get along very well with her little sister?
However, my boy and girl twins? They could care less. They are happy to share. After all, they’ve shared a space since conception. But my girls? Put them in a room together and you get a level of shrieks and screams so consistently high the neighborhood dogs would come running.
Sure I would love for my boy to have his privacy. A place to be a boy and do boy things (things I hope I never catch him doing…). I would love for ALL of my kids to have their privacy to do all kinds of stuff I hope to never catch any of them doing. A place to retreat. A place of their own.
But here is my reality, I have three bedrooms to split up between me and my kids, and I’m not sharing. Is that so wrong? After all, I pay the rent. So that being said, how do I split the remaining two rooms equitably—and by “equitable” I’m speaking in emotional terms.
Does gender HAVE to dictate how they live?
My oldest daughter has Asperger’s syndrome. And I can tell you now – she is the LEAST equipped to deal with my divorce, the move AND losing her privacy all at the same time.
But my boy and girl twins are coping machines. Besides, they love being with each other. Is it so wrong to take advantage of that? Yes, they have their issues, but they seem to be okay sharing a space – just as long as the delineation between “his stuff” and “her stuff” is clear.
So with this last move, I put them together. I am looking into getting some kind of partition for the room; I found a cable and curtain system on-line. It turns any room into a hospital room (but with cuter curtains), but it should give them the “space” they need. At least for now.
But when puberty hits, and the curtain isn’t enough…I’m hoping my oldest will be mature enough by then to share with her sister.
That…or I might just find myself with a roommate.
Do you have any room sharing arrangements in your house that receive raised eyebrows from busybodies? Am I wrong for keeping this set up?
by Sarah Maizes